It had to happen sometime

For the first time ever, I have just missed a flight. I must add that it was no fault of my own – the Charles de Gaulle Airport has now risen to the very top of my list of least favorite airports. Quite an accomplishment really. My flight from Zagreb arrived on time, but it took me a full hour and ten minutes to get from my arrival gate to my departure gate just two terminals away. Needless to say, I only had an hour to connect.

The airport is under construction to repair the roof of the E terminal, which collapsed a couple of years ago (which in itself is not exactly a good indication), but even without the construction, the airport has a highly inefficient layout. I had to take three separate buses to get from the plane to my departure gate – and of course there was a significant wait for each bus. When I finally got to what I thought was the terminal, I had to go through security. Why does Paris have the toughest security out of any airport in the world? The surly French official manning the x-ray machine did not make life any easier as I was rushing through. Not only did my (flat) shoes set off the x-ray machines prompting a very thorough hand search, but they actually hand search each and every piece of hand luggage coming into the terminal.

I explained to the grumpy man searching my bag that I was in a major hurry and my flight was scheduled to leave in 10 minutes (at that point). He pretended not to speak English. My frustration mounted as he searched every nook and cranny, opening my eye shadow pot and feeling my neck pillow, calling over the person to wave his wand and test for explosives. I muttered under my breath, ‘bloody Frenchmen’. It was a miracle, suddenly he spoke English! He looks up at me and dared me to repeat the insult to his face! Oops. I started to have images of me being put on the no fly list as he gave my boarding card to yet another security official to check on the computer. While I waited he continued to dare me to repeat my comment. I didn’t, although I was tempted to see what his reaction would be. Would he hit a woman? He seemed like he might so I didn’t dare.

When I was finally released (after only about 5 minutes total), I ran down a long hallway, down three flights of stairs carrying my hand luggage (yes, the French somehow believe that is a good idea to have stairs and no escalator which is so helpful to those strange people that are carrying hand luggage in an airport) only to discover that this was in fact the terminal in name only – I had to take another bus. The 10 minute ride made my chances of making the flight nil. So my punishment for insulting the ‘bloody French’ is that I am now spending a total of 7 hours in CDG. At least writing this story has given me my first laugh of the day.

I am not looking forward to my 8 hour flight – without food. Yes, it is too late to special order a meal. I just hope my luck changes. I couldn’t handle another Frenchman hooking up with a chick he picks up on this flight (see my blog about my trip out to Serbia Jan 14th).

Next time I am routing through Amsterdam!